Wake up and smell the hate!

First let me say, I am BAAACKKK and I am mad! and worried. It has been a very long time since I blogged, but I feel so strongly about this topic, I could not hold back one minute longer. So here goes:

When will the world wake up to the threat that radical Islamic terrorism poses to life on earth? Will it take a 9-11 type of terrorist act in every country for people to wake up to this reality?  Will it take a nuclear bomb being deployed by some nut case against a civilized country for people to feel they have had enough?

These terrorists mean to kill every person in the world who does not believe in Sharia law and who does believe in their version of Islam. PERIOD. There is no gray area here. Sticking your head in the sand and saying we should try to “compromise” with these forces of evil is just ignorant of the facts. They do not want to compromise. There is no intermediate position for radical Islam. It is my way or the highway, the “highway” being a beheading or bullet between the eyes.  Elizabeth Warren was interviewed in the last few days and said we should be finding a way to compromise with ISIS! What is that woman smoking? How do you compromise with a group that doesn’t have any other agenda than to kill anyone who is not a radical Muslim? She scares me almost as much as they do! 

Radical Islamic terrorism has been going on for decades.  It started as a trickle, but those incidents were no less horrific and deadly. Think the 1972 Munich Olympic Games; Black September, a Palestinian terrorist group kidnapped 11 Israeli Olympic athletes and killed them. Think the Raid on Entebbe in 1976- the terrorist group  Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine hijacked an Air France jet that was heading from Athens to Paris; they let the non-Jewish passengers go and kept the Jewish passengers as hostages. The Israeli Defense Force (IDF) planned and executed a raid to rescue the remaining passengers at Entebbe Airport in Uganda, where the hijacked plane had landed. 

These incidents were anomalies and were 4 years apart. I remember, as a teenager at the time, how scary and other worldly those incidents seemed to me. Those things happened far away and couldn’t hurt me because I live in a safe place, the USA.  I am so sorry to say that radical Islamic terrorism has grown incrementally over my lifetime, and now seems to be growing exponentially.  It has struck us here in the USA, just as it has stuck on every continent save for Antarctica.

Every time I see the news, there is some offshoot of radical Islam bringing terror down on innocent people just trying to live their lives.  First it was Yasser Arafat and his PLO, then it was Hezbollah, now we have Al Qaeda, the Taliban, ISIS, Boko Harum, Hamas, Jemaah Islamiya,  Islamic Jihad, Al Shabaab, Ansar al Islam, and this is not a complete list. This is just the tip of the terrorist iceberg. It is an iceberg indeed. We hear these names; we see the attacks and read the accounts of what happened. The scary part is that there are groups and members of those groups that have yet to show their horrible faces. They are “underground”, or beneath the water, like the largest part of an iceberg. We can’t see them, we don’t know anything about them, yet they are waiting, watching, and planning to attack us in the worst way they can, to inflict the most damage and cause the most casualties.  They will stop at nothing short of complete annihilation. Think Hitler, only on a worldwide scale, and against more than one group of people.

I can’t for the life of me understand why most people are so apathetic about this global threat.  I have 2 children that are young adults growing up in this scary world. It is a much scarier place than when I was growing up.   I worry about what the future brings, but I worry more about them than myself or my generation.  There are so many forces of evil out there, and they are not afraid to die. That is the difference.  The bad guys of yesteryear did not want to die. They wanted to get away with their crime, or atrocity, but they wanted to live. Hitler wanted to live. The Unabomber wanted to live. Timothy McVeigh wanted to live until he got caught, then he wanted to be executed. The radical Islamists don’t care at all if they die, if their parents, children, spouses, or friends die, in fact they welcome it.  Remember all of those virgins that are promised to them in heaven!

How does a civilized society fight against that ideology?  It turns basic human instinct on its head. One school of thinking is let’s give them what they want. They want to die, we will make it happen.  My base instinct puts forth that train of thought.  Why deal with these monsters. Why not just kill them all?  I don’t know if we would ever be able to sort it out enough to kill every radical Islamist worldwide without taking  a substantial number of innocent bystanders with them. It is a comforting thought, to be rid of this filth, isn’t it?  

So if we are not killing them all, how can we deal with this plague of radical Islam? I am not sure, but I know sticking your head in the sand, singing Kumbaya, trying to offer an olive branch, and holding hands, wishing for peace will not cut it. You may call me pragmatic, but I call myself realistic.  Remember that Israel has given land for peace and we see how far that went toward convincing Hamas and the Palestinians to live in peace with the Israelis. 

Trying to use diplomacy with radical Islamists is like trying to use a bucket to hold back a tsunami. There is a tsunami of hate, rage, and radicalism aimed at all of us in the civilized world and if this world does not wake up to the magnitude of this threat, they will be forced out of bed with a bomb going off in their city.

I do believe we should be doing the following to at least minimize the threats to our homeland

·         Profile, profile, profile at the airport, at stadiums, at train stations, at all large gatherings of people. I do NOT believe in political correctness anymore. We must look at those people who are more likely to want to harm us. Leave the little old ladies and babies alone at the airport. Look at the young Arabic looking men and women coming from countries where there are large swaths of terrorists looking to wreak havoc. By and large, those are the people who pose a threat to us. Do it the way it is done in Israeli airports and that will cut down on our threats.

·         The Dept. of Homeland security needs to get real. Forget threat levels of green, yellow, orange, red. We are at RED people, 100 % of the time. The threat of an attack is imminent at any time. If September 11^th showed us anything, it showed us that. We have no way of knowing if we are safe or not.  We are never going to be code green, never were.  Focus on what you can do to lessen the likelihood that another attack will occur at home. Eliminate visas from countries that harbor terrorists. Keep that terrorist watch list current and share it with other countries. Do not allow anyone on that list into the USA. Never!

·          PLEASE LOCK DOWN OUR BORDERS. I cannot write this in large enough print. Use all branches of our military to secure our borders, both North and South. This seems like a no brainer. I am not happy about all of the people streaming in to claim their freebies and wreck our economy but I am even more concerned about terrorists floating in with them unnoticed. Neither political party has the stones to do this, but we have to put politics aside and think of us first.  Mexico jails a US Marine for accidentally entering into their country and he has been held in a Mexican prison for MONTHS in squalid conditions!!  Thousands of people sneak across our borders daily and we offer them 3 hots and a cot(and medical care, a lawyer, a place to stay long term) No wonder they come. They get treated better as fugitives here than as citizens there!

·         Our politicians have to stop worrying about politics, polls, and reelections and start worrying about our future. We need to have national ID cards that are not able to be hacked in any way. You should have to use them to vote, to receive any kind of government benefits, open a bank account, get your social security check, rent an apartment, get in and out of the country. People here illegally need to wear tracking ankle bracelets.  We need to know who is here, why they are here, and what can they do for us, not have to worry about what are they going to do TO US! 

·         Create a coalition of countries that want to combat terrorism and share information within this coalition. It seems like some countries are currently more on board with this idea than others.  If we all work together, dismantling their ability to harm us is a more attainable goal.  I realize some countries and some leaders can’t be trusted, i.e. Iran, North Korea; those are countries that would more likely strike us than warn us of an impending strike anyway.

·         Cut off any US aid to foreign countries that harbor terrorists. PERIOD. I know we get oil from some of these countries, we need to get our oil and other energy elsewhere. Terrorists get money for their operations and weapons from selling oil and from selling drugs, mostly opium for heroin. We need energy independence and we need it yesterday. So to the US government I say, frack if you have to, drill baby drill if you must. It is imperative for us to reject Middle East oil now!  This is an economic and national security issue rolled into one.

Radical Islam is just another version of religious oppression that has plagued mankind for centuries. My God is the one true God, and all other religions are invalid. That is the theme of all of this strife and terrorism.  I find it pretty sad that in this day and age we as humans have not learned to live and let live, as long as we leave each other alone.   We live in such technologically advanced times, yet the “mine is the only true religion” mindset is so backward and destructive.

Radical Islam adds the dimension of subverting women. As a woman, I would love to see women in these strict Muslim countries rise up, each one grab a rifle,  hide it under their Burkas and blow away any man, husband included, that tries to abuse them, stone them, rape them, degrade them.  They should be able to go to school, drive, vote, be seen in public alone, and feel safe in their own house.

I know the more liberal folks might disagree with some or even all of my stances but I am ok with that. Intellectually, I feel these strategies are the only way forward for us to lessen the threat that terrorism poses not just to living but to living our way of life.  

Ask yourself this, will negotiating with a terrorist group or paying ransom of sorts to a terrorist group lessen the likelihood that another terrorist group will spring up wanting concessions and money ? Will allowing a free flow of immigrants through the gates of the USA help keep us safe and help us to identify who may be here to harm us?   Will stopping and frisking my granny or your 2 month old baby at the airport find a terrorist that is planning to take down a plane or pilot one into the next skyscraper target?  Will continuing to send financial aid to terrorism sponsoring countries help cut down on the number of terror attacks that we are subject to? Will continuing to buy oil from Saudi Arabia help us convince them to police their own country and prosecute those terrorists that are now training to kill Americans?  The answer to all of these should be a resounding NO.  Put liberal and conservative aside. We are Americans, we want to stay Americans and we want to live the life we have come to enjoy here in America.  If there are powers that seek to destroy our way of life, I think it is a life worth making changes and fighting for.

When a Door Closes, Does a Window Open?

As I began the spring cleaning of my jewelry today, I came across some earrings with missing wire, a necklace that needed some crazy glue, a couple of misplaced toe rings, and something that stopped me in my tracks. I found a teeny~tiny Medic Alert bracelet that had been tucked away long ago. It was the bracelet my son, now 16, wore when he was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at age 3. It was so small it was hard to believe he ever wore something that little. I stared at it for a while and got a little bit choked up. I got choked up for the life he has had to lead since that awful day of his diagnosis in January 1998. I got choked up at all of the things in our lives that have been made infinitely more difficult by having to cope with a child with Diabetes. I got choked up over the prospect of 13 years and counting with NO cure. I got choked up thinking that he had to give up the innocence of his childhood at such a young age. No 3 year old should have to go through what he has endured.

Some people say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Others phrase it differenly: God doesn't give you anything you can't deal with, or when a door closes, a window opens. One more pearl of wisdom in this chain is : overcoming adversity makes you a better person. Do I agree with any of these? I am inclined to say maybe, although I want to say NO!

Would I agree my son is a stronger person for having to cope with Diabetes from such a young age? I would say that it has made him a better advocate for himself. He is much more aware of what goes on in his body than many people his age are. In fact, he has to cope with (2) chronic diseases. He has to manage both Celiac (gluten intolerance) and Diabetes every day of his life.

He is also more empathetic than most teenagers even try to be. He has told me that if he could get rid of just one disease, he would get rid of the Celiac. This puzzled me at first. The Celiac is managed by diet, albeit a difficult diet. The Diabetes can be life threatening and is all emcompassing. However, Celiac has only been a part of his life for about 2 1/2 years. The Diabetes is almost all he has ever known, so good or bad, it is the "known quantity."

I frequently think about the theory of adversity making you stronger. It always seems to be those people not dealing with this type of adversity that throw that theory at you! Maybe they don't know what else to say, or maybe they are just trying to be nice and encouraging. At the time your child is diagnosed with a dreaded disease you don't want to hear that it will make him stronger. You want to blame someone and take all the pain away from him. You want to wake up from the horrible dream and let everything go back to "normal." You don't want people telling you this will make him a better person. He was already a good person to start with!!

In 2007 I watched a documentary called Crazy, Sexy, Cancer. It was about a woman, Kris Carr, who discovered she had a rare incurable liver cancer that would someday kill her but for now it is some form of remission. There is no cure for her and very few treatments. Throughout her documentary she goes from doctor to doctor, from wholistic healer to acupunturist, and on and on until she creates for herself a way to eat, exercise, and just "be" that will keeps her in optimum health. She actually ended up falling in love with and marrying the man who was filming her documentary. She is still alive today, 8 years after her diagnosis, and credits her Cancer for all of the good friends, her marriage, and her well being! She took a scary and horrible situation and not only did she make the best of it, she benefitted from aspects of it. She would not opt to change her situation. For more on Kris, see her website: http://crazysexylife.com/

It is hard to believe that anyone who is diagnosed with Cancer would not want to get rid of it and go back to life before Cancer, but she does not want to go back to her old life. I guess adverstiy made her stronger for sure.

This weekend we watched "127 Hours" the story about Aron Ralston, the mountaineer/climber that got his arm inextricably wedged next to a large boulder in Canyonlands National Park in Utah. He was stuck for 127 hours before he made the incredible decision to cut his own arm off in order to escape and save his own life. Nobody was going to save him but him. He was weak, but his will to live kept him going and he managed to do the unthinkable and sever his arm and walk out of his desperate sitation and save his own life. In interviews with 20/20 after his ordeal, he too said that this event has made him appreciate life and his family a lot more than he did and he would not change a thing. Again, very hard to get your head around that idea. He would not choose to go back and have his arm back and not have to have gone through what he went through. I guess there must be something to this idea about getting stronger when you have to deal with adversity.

Maybe my problem is that I am perceiving this idea from a Mother's perspective. But it is not me going through the bulk of the adversity here, it is my son. I would change his situation in a heartbeat, all of the adversity theories be damned!! If I could take his portion of adversity away from him, again, I would do it in a hearbeat. But if you ask him, he will tell you that Diabetes, and now Celiac, have made him who he is. We all like who he is. In fact we love who he is. So under that abstract, I guess I could agree it has made him stronger.

But still, it makes me sad to look at that little bracelet. so tiny and innocent. I think he would have been the same fine upstanding and kind person he is without Diabetes and Celiac. He would have had a much more carefree innocent childhood, instead of one filled with low blood sugars, endless needle sticks, and being forced to eat or drink in the middle of the night in order to avoid passing out.

So to get past this inner conflict I have about my son's situation, I continue to do what I do to cope, I help to raise awareness of, and money towards a cure for Juvenile Diabetes. I will do that until I don't need to do it anymore.

When a cure is found, I will take out that little bracelet and have it bronzed. But until then it will serve as my reminder that the work of Diabetes Research is not yet done and we need to keep funding it.

In the meantime, anyone dealing with a difficult situation can decide for themself whether it has made them stronger or not. I am still not sure how to answer that other than to say it depends on who is perceiving the adversity.

Here We Go Again....

I am hesitant to say this is the last time. It is ALWAYS the last time I am going to have to lose weight until it isn't the last time. Every time. What is it about weight loss and dieting that has us all so flummoxed? I know I am not alone. The sheer size of the diet industry and diet food industry is proof that I am in good company.

I always feel better when I have lost weight. My feet feel better, my back feels better. I have more energy and much higher self esteem both when I am losing weight and when I have lost weight.

I am a lifelong Weight Watcher member, since age 12. I even worked for Weight Watchers when I was in my early 20's. Not many kids can claim that they have dieted more than 3/4 of their life. Oh boy! That claim is not something I am proud of, it is just a part of who I am.

I know how to lose weight. I have done it lots of times. I am good at that. It is the keeping it off and keeping the old bad habits from returning that I am not as good at. I am a life long exerciser too so I have that on my side. Even when I am fat, I am more " fit" that a lot of thin people are.

I am still waiting for that miracle pill that will be the equalizer for us long suffering dieters. No more will skinny people rule. We will all be skinny except some of us will also be pretty! HA! Take that you ugly but tall and thin supermodels! We may not all be tall, and may not all get paid ridiculous amounts to strut on the catwalk, but we will all look our best when that skinny pill comes out and you won't be special anymore.

With my luck I will be old and wrinkly beyond recognition when that pill finally gets FDA approval :-( Until then I will have to do it the old antiquated way....stop eating so much and moving more.

If this mini blog sounds a little cranky, it is because I have re-started my diet for the umpteenth time along with the millions of other New Years Diet Resolutioners. I saw many of them at the gym today. Boy was that parking lot packed. My experience tells me that the parking lot will be a LOT quieter by about March when most of all of the Exercise Resolutioners have given up. Then those of us that are lifers (in the exercise category anyway) will have the place to ourselves again.

I might also add a personal note; one big reason I am restarting my weight loss efforts is because I will be hitting an age milestone, a very big one, this year and would like to cross that threshold in better shape than when I crossed the last one. That is a tall order to fill, I know, but I have to at least try!! Wish me luck!

I will be your worst nightmare if this happens again...

What do you say to a early 20 something male who thinks he is invincible, despite evidence to the contrary all around him? What do you say to this boy who came within a very slim margin of killing his close friend, your 20 something son, due to his illusion of immortality?

This past weekend, my 20 year old son was traveling in a car driven by his long time close friend. They were entering the highway and another car was trying to enter at the same time, coming from the other side of the entrance ramp. My son's friend had the right of way, although the other driver didn't care. He attempted to cut them off and get ahead of them on the entrance ramp. Thus began a short, but almost deadly, episode of road rage. As the cars merged onto the highway, both cars were jockeying to get ahead of each other. Finally a short distance before the next exit, the rival car swerved in front of the car driven by my son's friend, and jammed on his breaks. Yup, he jammed on his breaks in the fast lane of an interstate highway for NO REASON other than to piss off my son's friend. As a result of this break slam, my son and his friend careened into the back of that car.

My son and his friend were in a good sized Volvo luckily, but going 65+ miles/hr and slamming into the back of a Nissan Murano will do considerable damage to any car. The Volvo sustained significant front end damage and a cracked windshield. Both front air bags deployed. The Nissan didn't fare as well. The back end was wrecked, the back axle gone. The driver of the Nissan decided, as many amoral people do these days, to flee the scene. Karma bit him almost instantly however. His car broke down on the exit ramp, a very short distance from the accident scene. A state trooper was interviewing my son and his friend about the incident and got a radio call that the missing car in question was less than 1/4 mile away from where they were. The other driver was driving a friend's car and was on an expired license. His bad. And he almost killed my son. HIS VERY VERY BAD. He better not meet me in a dark alley. My former kick boxing skills might come into play on his face. Oh and did I forget to mention, this man is 75 years old? Some body's grandpa almost killed my son on purpose!!!!

Back to my son and his friend. Both of them were ok. Neither one was injured although they were shaken up. To that end I say, GOOD. They needed to be shaken up; my son's friend especially; he should not be getting into these skirmishes on the highway or in the car at all. These days, you just don't know who you are dealing with on the road. It could be that other teen driver that has been playing too many video racing games, could be that person that just can's stop texting no matter what and is not even looking to see where she is going, could be that person that has nothing to live for and has his hunting rifle on the front seat of his truck. It is really a crap shoot when you engage anyone on the road in this way.

I am angry that anyone would willingly choose to endanger others or not even think about the fact that they are endangering others while they are indulging their inner warrior. This man could have killed not only my son and his friend, he could have hurt other drivers around them that had nothing to do with the whole incident. I am really mad at him for that.

I am irate at my son's friend. He has not grown out of that teenage mentality that you can do anything and never get hurt even though he and my son were acquainted with a co worker that died in a senseless car crash 2 years ago. They saw first hand that you can't always do anything. What do I say to my son's friend to express my outrage that he would put my son's life on the line so callously? Is that a real friend? I thought a friend is someone who helps you, who bolsters you, who protects you if they can? And how do I insure that he won't take this same kind of chance the next time someone pisses him off in the car?

My worst fear has been realized and luckily for us, it did not have a disastrous end. I had been constantly worried about my son being in a car when this friend was the driver. My instincts told me that this boy was taking senseless risks all the time and that my son could be caught in the crossfire. Parents, trust your instincts. If you are worried about your kids hanging out with certain kids, you are probably right on target. You have strong protective instincts. You can't protect them from everything, and you can't pick their friends for them, but if you are concerned about a similar brand of behavior, i.e. the immortal teenage boy mentality, it is for good reason. These boys have to actually survive their own poor instincts until they are 25 or 26, until their brain development is complete and this attitude begins to die down. Accidents are the leading cause of death for males in this age group and it is no wonder why. If you think nothing can hurt you, you will speed, drive aggressively and show off until you are shown otherwise.

So to answer my own query, what would I say to my son's friend If we were face to face?

* If you are really a friend, you will never put (my son) in danger because of your carelessness or your ego again

*If you cared about your parents and your brother at all, you will never do this to them again

*If you cared at all about innocent bystanders you would never engage in this behavior again

*If you want to live to see 25, you need to mellow out, get a better life plan, and realize bad things can and do happen and they will happen to you more if you are reckless.

*If I ever find out that you knowingly put my son in danger again, I will be your worst nightmare. I didn't raise him for 20 years just for him to die because he chose his friends poorly. I do care and I will haunt you for all of your days if anything like this ever goes down again.
Hopefully he will then run from me, scared and repentant. That is what I would like to see. But, I would settle for my son to decide not to be a passenger while his friend is the driver anymore. In reality, I am probably going to have to continue to worry about this after the friend replaces his car. All I can do is hope is that he has learned some degree of a lesson here.

The Ultimate Adversarial Situtation

Today I experienced yet another version of the ultimate adversarial relationship--trying to buy a car at a car dealership. I have experienced this relationship many times in the past and have never considered it fun, easy, or even neutral. I hate it each and every time I choose to do it.

I guess part of my problem is that I detest feeling that I have been ripped off. Buying a car is an experience in which you are almost guaranteed to be ripped off at one end of the deal or the other. You will either pay too much up front for the car, get stuck with hundreds of dollars in "document fees" read: added dealer markup, get a low-ball amount for your trade in and then watch as the dealer tacks on thousands of dollars when he puts your old car out on his lot to re-sell, or you will find out after the sale that the dealer has a fat cash incentive coming his way from the manufacturer that you were not aware of at the time of the sale. GRRRRR. I am breaking out into a mild sweat just thinking about it.

My latest version of car shopping started a few months ago. I am trying to downsize from my Mommy-mobile, (minivan) to a sedan. This is a strange thing to me to start out with. I am tired of being a boat captain. My van is very large and we have an SUV already so we need one smaller car.

With all of this in mind, I had decided to try to buy a used 2008 Acura TL this time around instead of a new sedan. I had not found any new sedans that rated high enough in reliability and safety to fit my needs and I really like the looks of the 2008 TL. The TL changed in 2009 and looks like it is smiling at you from the front. The 2008 is the last model year when it was not smiling. I have been to several Acura dealers over the last few weeks. I definitely want a white TL with under 30,000 miles on it. I have seen a few. We went out of state 2 weeks ago to see one white TL. It was called "pristine" on the internet and had 17 thousand miles on it. Pristine did not come to mind during the test drive. The dog slobber on the back of the front headrests along with the torn leather on the door and the grease stain on the pillar really made me wonder what goes into a "Certified Pre Owned" inspection. Apparently cleaning and repairing is not part of that. That car was out. Then I saw one that was not white, it was dark blue. The inside was pristine but the outside had several prominent scratches on it and it was not white. Not my car.

I also need for any new car I buy not to have been a smoker's car. I have had asthma since I was a young child and any smoke, even old smoke smell bothers me. Every time I have inquired about a TL, I have asked if it were a smoker's car.

This morning, I called Bernardi Acura of Boston to ask if the White 2008 TL they had listed was a smoker's car. The salesman said he would go outside and check and call us back. He called back a few minutes later and said there was no smoke smell, it was not a smoker's car. So, off we went to Boston (50 minutes away from home). We got to the dealership and saw the car from the outside. It was perfect. It even had a spoiler on the back and a cool pinstripe. Hooooahhhhh! Let's take this baby for a spin. The salesman went to get the keys to open it and bring it around front. He brought it around, opened it up, I stuck my head in to look at the interior and guess what? I was assaulted by the smell of smoke!! The liar!! We had driven all that way to find that yes, this was a smoker's car. The salesman either thought I would not notice the smell, or care that much about the smell, or they thought maybe they could get me there and then sell me something else; the old bait and switch. They have NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE DEALING WITH!!

I hate car salesmen. I hate car salesmen. I hate car salesmen. In case you have not guessed, this is my new mantra --really just my old mantra that I have not had to use since 2005-the last time I bought a car!!

We decided, as we left Acura of Boston, to test drive a new Honda Accord, since we were making no headway with used TL's. We went to a Honda dealer on the way home. We test drove a 2011 Honda Accord EXL-V6 and I did not care for it as much as the used TL. The inside was not nice and the dash and other interior parts felt kind of cheaply made. During the test drive of the Accord, my husband got a call on his cell from an Acura Dealer that had been looking for a car for us for a couple of months. He was calling to say he had my perfect car and it had just been turned in this morning. It was a white 2008 TL with 16 thousand miles on it. We were close to where this dealership is so decided to leave Honda after the mandatory "check out with the Honda manager." This is a new development at car dealerships. Every time you even inquire about any car with a salesperson, you get this BS. They have to bring their manager over to find out if the salesperson "answered all your questions." Translated this means the manager is coming over to try to strong arm you into test driving, purchasing, giving your contact info or giving up your first born. This is a new and very annoying change that I really don't dig. If I want to leave, let me leave for heaven's sake. I don't like to wait and be manhandled if I am not interested in what you are selling.

We headed over to Prime Acura of Walpole. As we arrived, our "friend", the car salesman we had been dealing with approached us and told us, oops, this was not a 2008 white TL, it was in fact a 2007 white TL with 16 thousand miles on it. Although I was not philosophically opposed to a 2007, the body style is the same, I had not considered that there would be one with such low mileage. The price should be lower because insurance wise, if you crash and total it, a 2007 will fetch you less that a 2008 will. There is also less time left on the warranty, etc. OK, we will take a look. So we looked. It was very nice. Clean in and out, but had not been gone over yet, since it had just been traded today. We were happy enough to consider this one if the price was right.

By then it was 1:30 PM and we were starving. We told the salesman we needed to eat and we would discuss the 2007 over lunch and then be back to test drive. We ate next door and while dining, used the Blackberry to try to ascertain the Kelly Blue Book value of a 2007 TL, the Edmunds True Market Value price and what other dealers were asking for a 2007 TL with low miles. We came up with a figure that was reasonable and we were ready to deal and buy this car.

We came back from lunch with a plan: test drive the car, look at the Carfax and then make a deal for this car. We were planning to buy it as long as the price was fair for a 2007. To be fair, it had to be priced lower than all of the 2008 we had been looking at. We did take the 16k miles into account but even that level of low mileage it doesn't add more than about $1,200 to the value of the car. They had not even put this through the Certification process yet.

We offered our price and our "friend" made a funny face. He went to our other "friend" (NOT) the manager with our offer. The manager came out and told us we were way below what he had planned to ask for the car. Prime Acura had another 2007 TL on their lot and it was priced at 21,888. It had 45k miles on it. When you add the extra $1200 that Edmunds gives you for low mileage, we were in fact exactly in that ballpark. The manager informed us he planned to ask $25k or $26K because it would be Certified. When I asked what they would do to Certify this car. He replied ,"not much!!" All they would do is change the oil and fluids because of the low mileage. And they were expecting to get an extra $2,000 for the car because they slap that "Certified" tag on it. We were clearly at an impasse. Our 2 "friends" walked away for a moment.

I suggested to my husband that maybe we should try to buy it without them Certifying it. After all, he always changes the oil in our cars and we have our own mechanic if we needed to change any other fluids we couldn't do ourselves. According to Edmund's if the car was not Certified, it's True Market Value was $22,800. That is approximately what we offered them when we said we would take it without the Certification. They did not go for that either. They would sell it Uncertified but not at Edmunds True Market Value even though they had used Edmunds to show us how much it would cost with the Certification -$24,800.

It was at this point that I read between the lines. They wanted to slap the Certification on the car as an added dealer markup. They would spend MAYBE $100 on changing the fluids and would pass along a $2,000 premium for doing so!!

Certification would only extend the warranty 1 year on a car that only had 6 months left on it's original warranty. So for an extra $2,000 that was not worth it. As I mentioned that for insurance purposes if I drove it off the lot and crashed and totaled it, I would only get $17-19k for it, an asking price of $24K or $25K sounded pretty inflated for a 2007. The manager tried to tell us that if it was Certified insurance would give you more for it if you crashed it. I thought sounded wrong and kind of stupid. Certification is an intangible thing. Insurance does not CARE about that; they want to give you as little as they possibly can because they are out to screw you too!

I even called my experts in the insurance field who confirmed my suspicions that insurance companies don't offer any higher compensation for a car that was totaled and had been Certified. Another lying car salesman.

To put an end to this miserable process, we left Prime Acura after that negotiation ended. The manager told us he was sure he would sell it and quick for $24K or $25k. Meanwhile, there are several 2008 TL's out on the internet in our area that are listed for between $23 and $25. Most have mileage between 17k and 25k. But, I think there is a 50% chance I will hear from this dealer again. If the car does not sell in a few weeks, our "friends " will be barking up a different tree. This tree will be tipping a little more in our direction, however.

I loathe the idea of having to go through this again in this car buying cycle. The whole process of buying a car could be fun but instead is one of the worst forms of business dealings we humans have to endure. These are people working on commission that will tell you anything to sell you anything. There is almost no other example of purchasing that we regularly engage in (except for maybe buying a house) that is more frustrating, and aggravating. After you make your deal, they still try to get more money from you. They try to add on a bunch of crap you don't want or need....VIN etching, seal coating, extra warranties, and on and on. They put you through the wringer over and over until you cry UNCLE.

Yet, still we buy new cars every few years! Under these harsh sales circumstances it really takes 4 or 5 years to store up enough energy to go into this battle again.

I would love to be able to walk into a dealership, try out a car, like it, offer a reasonable price, get a reasonable price for my trade and walk out with a smile instead of a grimace and a headache.

If such a car salesman exists and has a non smoker's white 2008Acura TL with less than 30k miles on it and is willing to make a fast deal, please contact me! I am waiting to change my mind about your ilk!! Until then, I will continue to despise most of you and the process.

Rachel's Challenge--My Impressions

I am now employed at our local High School, and because of that, this week I had the privilege of attending a presentation that all of the students were attending. The presentation was called Rachel's Challenge. I was told I would need to bring tissues with me to the presentation. OK. So off I went with my coworker and my Kleenex. Several hundred of the high school students were in attendance for the time slot I attended. Beforehand, I read a brief description of what we were going to see and hear, but had no idea of the depth of emotion that went into putting together this presentation.

Rachel's Challenge is now an international program that was spawned out of the Columbine High School massacre of 1999. "Rachel" is 17 year old Rachel Scott, the first student to be shot and killed that day at Columbine High School. Are you getting any goosebumps yet? I was.

Her family knew how wonderful Rachel was but had no idea how many people's lives she had touched inside her high school during her time there. After she died, her parents found an essay that Rachel had written that was stuck under her mattress and six journals that she had written and kept, to herself. In the many journal entries, Rachel had formulated her own theories about life; she dreamed of a Utopian world in which everyone was kinder to each other and everyone was able to succeed in meeting their personal goals. Rachel practiced her kindness theory every day. She went out of her way to perform small random acts of kindness that touched people's lives and even led one of her classmates to decide not to commit suicide because of the kindness Rachel had shown him. She changed his outlook and his life's path. She felt that if one person performed some small act of kindness for another person, that person would in turn do the same for someone else and it would have a ripple effect all over the world. She called this her chain reaction of compassion and kindness. A pay it forward, if you will. She dreamed of the impact her idea would have on the world.

As I stood with the teachers and administrators, I felt many emotions. As a matter of fact, as soon as the speaker began to show us actual video shot during the Columbine shooting, I had a rush of sadness. I remembered watching that footage on TV that day as it unfolded and wondering how those parents didn't go mad worrying if their children were safe or dead inside their school. I remembered thinking that the parents of Eric Harris and Dylan Kleebold had to have their heads in the sand not to know anything was wrong with their sons; not to know their sons were obsessed with Hitler and had stockpiles of weapons, and bomb making materials they were working with; not to know they had for a few years posted violent photos and writing in their personal blogs. I got choked up in the first 5 minutes of the presentation. Every time they showed baby pictures of Rachel, or photos of her smiling with her brothers and sisters, it caused a Kleenex moment. As I glanced around the field house, I saw tears on cheeks of both teen girls and teen boys and many of the staff. I was clearly not the only one brandishing a Kleenex.

Throughout the 1 hour presentation, we saw videos, photos, and heard the Scott family friend give us his impressions and Rachel's family's impressions of the events of Columbine and how it affected their family and community. It was very powerful. He focused on Rachel for most of the hour. She was a kind girl and she also seemed to be psychic. The last year of her life, although not at all suicidal, she told friends and siblings that she knew she would die at a young age. She also wrote in her journal and on the wall in her bedroom behind her dresser (her family found this months after she passed away while moving the furniture in her bedroom) that although she would not live long, her life would touch millions of others.

Her family decided to make Rachel's wish or premonition a reality by starting her foundation and challenging others to live in the way that Rachel hoped people would choose to live- to set goals for themselves and to be kind to others, not to prejudge anyone by looks or disability; to treat everyone they way you would like to be treated.

For such a young person, this is a grand idea, a John Lennon-esque idea. The song "Imagine" comes to mind when you think of the world Rachel wanted to create. The Scott family wanted to make something good come out of the tragedy of their daughter's death and they have presented Rachel's Challenge to thousands of schools and businesses all over the world in the last few years. I give them a lot of credit for honoring their daughter in this way. I am sure many people in similar circumstances would have trouble simply getting out of bed every day after being hit with a horror of this magnitude. They not only get out of bed, they are living a continuous tribute to their daughter and have made this their life's work. The whole Scott family including siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and close friends are all involved in their organization because they believe it can help to put a stop to bullying, improve grades, improve our children's lives, improve the atmosphere of a work place and in general, help the world at large. These are lofty but not unattainable goals.

I urge you to view a Rachel's Challenge presentation if you get the chance. It will make you think twice the next time a stereotype pops into your head when meeting someone for the first time. It will also make you go home and hug your family members tighter. Just the thought of what the Scott family and the other 12 families that lost loved ones at Columbine High School had to cope with is enough to make you want to accept Rachel's Challenge. In the words of the folk singer Jewel, "only kindness matters."

For more information on Rachel's Challenge, visit their website:
www.rachelschallenge.org

Daily Double, or Should I Say Double Whammy?

This was my first normal day back to life after vacation. It was supposed to be uneventful and calm. Ha! Says who? Today I experienced the daily double of frustration and anger. For today I had to deal with issues with my health insurance company (Aetna) and on the very same day, had to contend with the idiotic Mass Registry of Motor Vehicles. My 16 year old son wanted to apply for his learner's permit since his 16th birthday was yesterday, a Sunday when our beloved RMV is closed.

This morning, after sorting through a pile of unopened vacation mail, I found a claim form from our insurance company. It was curious. There was a very large charge (over $1,100) for some medical supplies that I knew about, and there was a column that listed the "negotiated fee" that Aetna had supposedly negotiated with this medical supply company. The negotiated fee for this order of supplies was listed as #23.50!!! I am quite sure the supplier did not agree to get paid $23.50 for over $1,100 worth of supplies. So, because I expected to get a bill for the balance of the cost of those supplies, I phoned Aetna to get clarification and hopefully correction.

Surprisingly, I reached someone on the other end of the line (after many many menus of options with Mrs. Telephone-Computer Lady) with a strong Indian accent. I was dumbfounded. Had our health insurance company actually outsourced it's American health care plan customer service line to India? That seemed outrageous. I am still not sure if I just got an Indian representative working in an American call center or if I was actually speaking to India.

The rest went as you can imagine it went. I explained the claim situation, he had it on the screen in front of him and I asked him some questions. It was as if we were speaking 2 completely different languages. I would ask a question and he would respond by telling me the limits and details of our coverage. The problem with that was--That Was Not What I Asked Him. It was like he was reading from a script.....a script from a completely different situation. I was getting very frustrated. I asked to speak to a supervisor. He had no illogical rejoinder statement for that so he sputtered and then put me on hold telling me he was going to research my claim. He came back after at least 10 minutes and once again, told me about our plan. ARGH!! Was he trying to piss me off? Was he hoping I would just hang up? If so, he was doing a good job! I again asked him why the supplies were not covered, he mentioned the co pay and deductibles again and then put me on hold a second time...tick tock.... tick tock.......

Since we were forced to take this insurance in April after my husband's company forcibly switched all of us from Blue Cross tho Aetna, we have not had a need to call Aetna up to this time. So, I am not sure if this is the way they handle everything or if I was just the unlucky schmuck to get a Bozo on the line today. When he came back and gave me no answers at all, I did what I never do. I hung up on him. I am usually polite even if I am pissed off, but I was beyond pissed so I just gave up on him.


This afternoon, my plan was to take my son for his learner's permit. In preparation, I looked on the Mass RMV website to find the application he needs to fill out before the test. They allow you to fill it out online and print it out. Great!! I filled it out SS number, Birth date, name, address, driving history, health issues, etc. I got about the 10th and final screen and hit SUBMIT and got an error message that it had "timed out." OK, I went back and filled it out in a fraction of that time and again got that message. I did it 5 more times and every blasted time, it gave me that error message. Obviously that RMV web application works as well as everything else in this state. Meanwhile, my son slept until a teenagery 12 noon today. I looked online to see the wait times at the local RMV and at that point they were about 50 minutes. We decided to go anyway and just wait. However, I forgot one fact. The RMV has closed many branches around us and so this one branch in the area that actually does the permit testing has been extra busy ever since. They also have a parking lot not built at all to handle the overflow. There are no other places to park when they are full, either. You guessed it; we got there and there was not one open parking space. As a matter of fact there were 2 or 3 cars double parked waiting for someone to leave a space!! We opted not to stay and came back about an hour later. It was even worse than before. We will try again tomorrow when they open. We will be one of those losers in line for the opening!!

I fear that this is how our world is going to be from now on. The idiots are running the asylum. In an effort to save money health insurance companies are raising copays and deductibles, not covering a lot of services and supplies and are outsourcing their customer service to India. Great! They must want to go out of business and let our Government run health care. That is where we are headed at this rate.

If the cost of insurance keeps rising and we get less and less coverage for our money all of the insurers will all go out of business and our incredibly inefficient and corrupt government will take over our health care! Old people--you will not get those knee and hip replacements, those open heart surgeries, that Chemotherapy anymore. That will not be cost effective. Middle aged women--you will not get your annual mammograms, pap smears, and if you get cancer good luck getting any cutting edge drugs to treat it. Men? Well, actually since things are still predominantly run by men, Viagra is probably here to stay for now. No worries. But, if you have a preemie baby, forget all that costly care in an incubator for a month or 2. You will be told to take the baby home and hope for the best. And my son who has had Juvenile Diabetes for over 12 years will probably be told that insulin pump supplies are too expensive so he will have to go back to injections 6-10 times a day. We will all pay dearly if the government gets more involved in our health care. Look at the mess they already have with Medicare!

As for the RMV, it is bad, it has always been bad and it will always be bad. I don't see it getting better ever. They have no reason to improve. We all have to get a license, we all have to register our vehicles; they have a captive audience and we are stuck with them!

Back to me...how much frustration can a person be expected to take in one day? The RMV and a Health Insurance kerfuffle are about all I can take. I think I need a Calgon bath and a martini...and although I do take baths, I do not drink, well, hardly ever. I may have to make an exception today! Cheers!!

On The Precipice.......

This time of year, and this year in particular, I feel as if I am on the precipice of a new time. My youngest child is about to start driving -God help us all! :); my older son will be starting at a new college, I am going to ramp up my job search, and the summer is coming to an end.

School buses will be running again, the alarm clock will be cajoling me out of bed at 6 AM once again. Ugh! At least I have kept up with going to the gym since I joined. I am proud of that. As a matter of fact, I don't think I would have made it trudging around the Disney parks if I hadn't gone to the gym for a month to increase my cardio strength and would not have been able to lug that luggage as easily if I had not used resistance machines.

Watching one's child learn to drive is as nerve wracking as it gets. I have been through it once and I am not looking forward to a repeat performance. It is not that I don't have faith in my sons abilities to learn to be good drivers. I do. It is that they have to share the road with a host of knuckleheads and idiots and that is what worries me more. If they were going to be on the road alone I would have few worries. Nowadays, drivers are so distracted that each and every time you go out driving it is like playing a video game; things jump out at you, people cut you off, people stray into your oncoming lane, people end up off the road altogether if they have been texting, etc. ....only in this game, you don't get to restart your life if an accident occurs. I know once again, I am just going to have to suck it up and hope for the best.

There has not been much good news on the jobs front lately. Most businesses have been hunkering down hoping to ride out the recession and remain intact. Not too many are adding to their staff. So, it is a tough job seeking market out there. I will find something at some point, I know, but it may not be the ideal situation. I will have to accept that fact before I start looking.

We went through the College Freshman year with my older son last year; he went to a large state University out of our home state; this year he has transferred to a different school and will be commuting to it from home. This will present him with a host of new challenges, I am sure. All will be fine, but as a family, will have to help him through the adjustment period yet again. I hope it sticks this time!

Finally, on the slow HOT ending to summer....this year it will be a more than welcome sight to see the calendar turn to September. That will mean cooler, drier air is around the corner. This has been one brutally hot and humid summer. It has been atypically hot and humid for almost the whole summer. It has been far less enjoyable than usual. I hope next summer is more tolerable. I can deal with 80, even 90 degrees if it is not humid. That humidity makes you want to sit down and do a whole lot of nothing. My lovely garden for which I had such high hopes at the beginning of the season fizzled mid July due to not enough rain and way too much hot sun. My favorite shrub in all of my garden (Lace Cap Hydrangea) actually died a slow and agonizing death due to a fungus brought on by uneven watering conditions. That was hard to watch. I finally cut it all back today. I could not stand that drama for one more day. There were a mere 3 live branches left and they were not looking very well. I decided to put both of us out of our misery and give it a dignified burial in the compost pile.

So as one chapter of our lives starts to fade, (the summer, the childhood of my 16 year old, the unemployment of Ivy) another more interesting one begins. I am an eternal optimist; I do believe that old saying that when a door closes a window opens. My younger son will drive and I will survive watching him learn to do so. I may even get a night's sleep once in a while even if he is out with the car (yeah, right!!). I will find a decent job and start the work cycle once again. Maybe I will even get a boss that is human this time and not a troll. The fall will come and we will rejoice in the changing leaves (all the while cursing the raking and blowing of them). All good things will come to an end and then other good things will take their place. Such is life.

The Magical World of Disney

I am back from an 8 day adventure at Walt Disney World. I am tired, I am "out of it," and most likely broke after I get our credit card statement. I will share several observations about my vacation, vacationing with teenage sons and Disneyworld policies in general for those of you brave enough to attempt this with your own family.

For the most part our vacation was fun, exhausting, expensive, and it was good to get away.

I discovered something about myself while we were vacationing. I discovered that I am, in fact, a total and complete news hound. I don't mean I watch the news at night. No, I have taken news watching to a whole other level. I get up in the morning, check my Yahoo and Fox news sites to see headlines, I check Huffington Post to see what people are blogging about. Then I flip on the TV to see what the news shows are talking about and lastly, I listen to talk radio in the afternoon while preparing dinner to see what the local talking heads are tossing around that day. I didn't realize how fixated I was on news until I spent over a week without doing any of those news seeking activities. It was not a total news blackout, the hotel delivered USA Today to our room every day (we didn't ask for it, it just appeared outside the door every day) but I didn't read most of it. I did catch the major headlines about the oil spill and the awful massacre in CT. Other than that, I did not delve into anything newsworthy. As I have blogged before, the news these days is predominantly negative, and if you read or listen to it a lot, you will start to feel more negative and stressed. I decided that I do need to have a news blackout once in a while to decompress. But not today!! I have not seen any good headlines for a week so I am scouring them now.

Another discovery made on our Disney vacation was that the word "complimentary" is almost nonexistent in the Disney vernacular (save for that free USA Today paper!!) As my husband put it, "if they could figure out a way to charge you for the air you breathe while at Disney, they would." The $2.50 bottle of water, the $3.75 ice cream bar, the $10.00 burger and fries all fell into this category. The prices on snacks, Tylenol, bandaids, pins (pin trading is big business at Disney World) all are out of sight.

We stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. It was beautiful and a great place to stay. Animal Kingdom Lodge (Jambo House) has 3 restaurants; one is Mara, a cafeteria style, low key, lower priced food court. The next is a buffet style restaurant, Boma, very nice, very good food, fairly high prices for a buffet ($26pp for breakfast buffet, $34 pp for dinner buffet) and the third was a lot dressier and fancier so we opted out of visiting that one. The cafeteria style place, Mara, not only had breakfast and lunch/dinner food, they also had sections for those people who opted to "grab and go". You could get a pint of milk for $1.50, a candy bar for $2.00, a cupcake, $3,49, a bottled water for $2.75, ! When I think of how much I would pay for those same items at home it really ticked me off. You could get the same size Snickers bar for .50 cents at home and pay .35 cents for an equivalent sized water bottle. Why do these places feel they need to keep ripping you off endlessly? It is not only a Disney thing to do, but they seem to do it so well! Feeling ripped off puts a slight damper on the "Disney Magic."

One more observation about the way Disney does business is how it handles transportation issues. DisneyWorld provides shuttle bus transportation to and from any of it's parks and resorts for anyone staying onsite. Some of the resorts have other transportation options such as the monorail or boats in addition to the buses.

That being said, this was one of the hottest months they have had in Florida in years and we were lucky enough to be vacationing in it. The air temp. was in the mid 90's with a saturated heat index that put the real temperature feel up to about 115 degrees. It was HOT. On those days that we had spent the early morning and mid day at a park, we were totally ready to go back to the Animal Kingdom Lodge for some R & R just to cool off and regroup. We would trudge in the blazing hot sun out the park exit and over to our Animal Kingdom Lodge bus stop and hope our bus was either right there or just around the corner waiting to pick us up. On several occasions, those plans were sent way off kilter however by a vacationer also heading to the Animal Kingdom Lodge who was either in a wheelchair or on a scooter.

I have NO PROBLEM with someone that has a legitimate reason for riding in a wheelchair or scooter. If you are disabled due to illness, injury, accident, or surgery, by all means, ride on the bus in your wheelchair or scooter. I will be happy to let you go first, etc. But there were a few occasions where someone arrived at our bus stop that happened to weigh about 400 pounds and was riding on a scooter; simply unable to walk due to their sheer size. I had no patience for those people. When any person was in a scooter or wheelchair waiting for a Disney bus, it meant that when the bus arrived and let riding passengers disembark, the bus driver then had to get out, let down a ramp, help the scooter or wheelchair bound person up into the bus, and secure their scooter with straps. This process took anywhere from 5-10 minutes depending on the bus driver's expertise in this area. Some were very obviously better and more efficient at it than others. Meanwhile, the rest of us weary park goers were forced to stand outside in the swelter waiting to get on the air conditioned bus. This happened over and over again. I simply had patience for the people who seemed to have a legitimate reason for being in a chair, and no patience for those who had eaten themselves into the position of holding up the rest of us.

The system for transporting disabled persons at Disneyworld needs to be reviewed. Disney should possibly have a special bus that is adapted to handle several chairs and scooters and transport these visitors and their aides separately. It would be more efficient to do it this way and it would inconvenience the masses a lot less. Maybe if the weather had not been so unbearably hot, I would not have even noticed this situation, but my brain would be frying while watching a "jumbo" person roll up the bus ramp and make the rest of us wait in the heat while they got secured into the bus. This happened many times over the course of a week. I noticed the frustration on the faces of the other riders as well.

Going to Disney is never a relaxing vacation, well, maybe it is if you don't go with kids. We took our 16 and 20 year olds with us. It seems, all they cared to do was find the biggest thrill rides. Really, that is all they cared about. They did not want to see animals, they cared not about the countries of Epcot, and really were not concerned with characters, shows, or exhibitions. All they wanted to do for the whole time is get jostled, spun, shot into the air, and twisted around. And believe me at their age, I was a lot more concerned with those things too.

I decided to "go along to get along" for the first few days. I rode on Expedition Everest in the Animal Kingdom with my men. Oh boy! I am not a thrill ride lover, or even liker. I am not in any way thrill seeking by nature. I love to stay on Terra firma. Flying in a plane to Florida was enough thrill ride for me. I hate flying, I hate feeling any G forces, I have a fear of heights, and don't like going fast. Are you getting the picture I don't usually do thrill rides? I did it for them. I really hated it!! I was screaming and cowering the whole time and got a stiff neck to boot from the G forces that push your head toward your knees. I can't imagine how anyone finds this fun! But they sure did!! I also rode Splash Mountain, a lot tamer, Thunder Mountain Railroad-not as tame, but G forces were only side to side so easier on a middle aged body, Tower of Terror-I was not loving that free fall, and Space Mountain. You might wonder why on earth I would ride Space Mountain after going on Everest? I had ridden Space Mountain with my brother as a teenager and made it through unscathed so figured I would be ok. It was not as bad as Everest, but I was not loving that one either. My boys were amazed I went on any of those rides at all. They did a lot of the rides more than once. They rode Everest 3 times. They even rode on Rockin Rollercoaster. I drew the line there. I refuse to go upside down for any reason. Period. That was their favorite ride of all. They were talking about that one all day and laughing at the expressions on their faces in the photo they take of you mid ride.

My conclusion: if you want to go to Disney and relax, don't take kids. If you want to experience the shows, the cultural diversity of Epcot, the beauty of the grounds, the rides that try to educate rather than thrill, don't go with teenage boys!

By far, one of my most favorite rides was in the Land pavilion, Living with the Land. It really looked lame at first but I had read in a guidebook it was worth seeing. It was really cool and I would have liked to have ridden that one again. It was an exhibition about alternate forms of farming and gardening. It was fascinating. My kids even liked it although they would not admit it.

Having taken our boys to Disney when they were 5 and 9 we had a totally different experience this time. We didn't have to worry about nap times, strollers, scary rides, scary characters wandering the park and stopping to say hi while your child freaks out. We were able to find out via text where they were in the line, and find out what the wait time was for the rides (via Disney text) before we arrived at the parks.

Something I found to be disappointing was that it seemed like with the exception of Epcot World Showcase, all of the stores and shops in the parks and in Downtown Disney had pretty much the same merchandise. There were pins, t shirts, kitchen stuff, clothing, Christmas ornaments and toys all with Disney characters on them. It felt like 11 years ago there was a much more diverse variety of souvenirs. Downtown Disney to me felt like a waste as far as shopping. Other than a couple of independent stores that sold cigars, legos, candy, and magic supplies, most of the retail stores were Disney themed merchandise. Boring!! And worse, it felt like a whole lot of shameless self promotion on the part of Disney. Also, everywhere you turned they were trying to get you to consider Disney Vacation Club. There was a DVC kiosk at every turn. Sorry!! I am not going to think about booking my next vacation while I am still on this one. It is like asking a Mom who is in the midst of giving birth when she will have her next baby!! A little less self promotion, a little more variety in merchandise would be a nice change.

All in all, it was great to get away, the boys had a blast, and best of all they are old enough to remember it this time! I remember it too and will remember it over again when that credit card statement appears in my inbox in a few days. Sigh!

Another One Jumps the Shark

Several years ago I heard an expression that has stuck with me. That expression is "jumping the shark." According to Wikipedia, Jumping the Shark means the moment of downturn for a previously successful enterprise. The phrase was originally used to denote the point in a T.V. show's history where the plot spins off into absurd story lines or unlikely characterizations. These changes were often the result of efforts to revive interest in a show whose audience had begun to decline, usually through the employment of different actors, writers or producers. It is often extended to people, particularly actors these days.

Many, many examples spring to mind immediately as we get older and as some Hollywood types and sporting figures begin to Jump the Shark on the way to ruining their legacy.

One star in the news currently is Mel Gibson. He has had a stellar acting career, a large family, a marriage of 29 years; everything seemed rosy in Mel's world. We have since discovered that Mel's world is far from perfect and he is not the nice guy that he once seemed to be. He is an alcoholic with a DUI offense in 2006, and one back in Australia in 1984. He has been through "recovery" more than once. He divorced his wife (and mother of his 7 children, & 2 grandchildren) and took up with his new "girlfriend" and mother of his newest child. He has recently separated from the new girlfriend under a cloud of suspicion of physically abusing her while she held their baby and verbally threatening to do her harm. There are audio tapes of him threatening her. There are also tapes and witnesses to his many racist rants and remarks that he has made over the years. All of this from a man who purports to be so religious that he built a Church on his property!! What a crock, what a hypocrite.

Then there is of course, Tom Cruise. Once again, he seems to have it all. He has a powerful career in Hollywood, more money than he could ever need, he has had 3 wives, the latest, Katie Holmes, is many years younger than him. He went so bonkers over landing Katie Holmes that he humiliated himself while doing an interview on the Oprah show. The infamous "couch jumping" was to show Oprah how in love he was with Katie Holmes, whom he had dated for about a month at the time!! This incident was a major downfall in his career. It made him seem less stable and a lot more bizarre. Magazines began digging into all that is Tom Cruise. What came out of the digging was his intense devotion to the odd religion of Scientology. Apparently he is one of the higher ups in this cult...er...um... I mean religion. After the info about his Scientology ties became public dialogue, his career fell down more. At this point in time, he is not who he once was in Hollywood. His latest film struggles at the box office as of today. He jumped the shark by jumping on the couch and acting very unstable. He did himself no favors.

The next in a long line of oddballs and morons is Tiger Woods. Wow, he really Jumped it bad!He was on top of the golf world, on top of the heap of millions of endorsements deals and dollars. He had a beautiful wife, 2 young children, multiple houses and the respect of anyone in the golfing realm. Then, poof, his reputation and credibility is gone. The true Tiger showed it's ugly teeth and we were all shocked to see what a moron he really is! Why did this man ever get married? If he catted around and knew he wanted to continue catting around ad nauseum, why involve an innocent young woman and deceive her from day one? What purpose did that serve? I am sure any one of his bimbos or ho's would have carried a child for him (a la Michael Jackson and Debbie Rowe) for a price. It is amazing how much he carried on and for how long without it ever coming out. He was on top of the world, thinking he could do whatever the hell he wanted to do and get away with it.

That is what these shark jumpers have in common. They get so famous, so fast, the people around them treat them like a deity. They can do no wrong, say no wrong. What they decide goes even if it is a poor decision. Nobody wants to tell them the truth for fear they will not be on the payroll anymore if they do. So the famous person gets a god complex and pretty soon, they fall off of their ivory tower. When they fall, they fall hard.

Brittany Spears is a female Shark Jumper. She was on top, looked great, had tons of money, had a hot music career although she was not a good singer by any stretch of the imagination, and poof. She attained her god complex, her posse fed into it and she suffered a breakdown of mammoth proportions splashed all over the tabloids. She is just a cut above trailer trash these days with her Dad as her "supervisor." Why didn't he supervise her career when she was on top or headed up? He was only there to take care of business when she was down and out.

Lindsay Lohan seems to be following in Brittany's footsteps. Another case of girl did well as a youngster, and it all spun out of control.

What is it about fame that makes these people rise and fall so spectacularly? There are leading men and ladies in Hollywood that have not suffered this fate and end up growing up and growing old gracefully. Think of Tom Hanks, Matt Damon, think of Meryl Streep, Michelle Pfeiffer. They have been in scores of movies and have mega money and yet have seemingly normal lives.

There are some who have teetered with Jumping the Shark and still may. Madonna seems to be one of those. She continues to dress and act as if she were 25. She is in danger of becoming a caricature of her old self. Russell Crowe has had enough physical outbursts to cast himself in a shark like shadow. Lady Gaga has gone from a nobody to the most friended person on Facebook. She can only go down from there!

There are SO MANY professional sports figures that jump the shark and do it quickly. We are not talking about decades long careers like Mel and Tom, no, we are talking about NFL players who get giant contracts and a couple of years in they still act like they are living in the "hood." The go to strip clubs, get involved in murder for hire plots, carry firearms with them while going out with friends, have DUI convictions.MLB Baseball has had all the steroid scandals to contend with...I am great, I could be greater....let me just do this 'roid and maybe I can set some records and even more millions. NBA Basketball seems to be full of huge egos, LeBron James is a good example! All of these nitwits who are good at hitting, catching, or throwing a ball are being paid multi millions for doing so and have thus gotten a little god complex of their own. As an NHL hockey fan, I don't see this as much there. What you see is players who abandon a beloved team because they can't be the head honcho, the team captain, or the team they would love to stay and keep playing for cannot afford to pay them what they think they are worth, due to salary cap restrictions. In hockey it is part ego, part economics.

Very few people ever attain the wealth that a Mel Gibson, LeBron James, or Madonna have. And thank goodness they don't! Most people cannot deal with all that comes along with that money. The lack of privacy, having your every act scrutinized, your every move photographed can get out of control. But it is a trade off. They do have the option of walking away from the movie, the music or the sports and still have a pile of money to live on. They usually choose to keep being famous and some eventually become infamous because they cannot live without the adoration that goes along with the title of superstar.

In conclusion, people are jumping the shark left and right. It will continue to happen as long as we put them up on a pedestal. From that pedestal they ultimately have 2 choices. They can stay up there or they can fall. Mel and company have fallen and it is not a pretty sight!

A Funny Thing Happened on The Way Out of the Gym Today...

I felt the rush today. It was just a tiny hint of a rush, but a rush nonetheless. It was something I have not felt for a very long time.

Let me back up a bit. I have always been,throughout my life, a person who works out. I belong to gyms, I go to fitness classes, I walk, I do exercise videos at home. This has been my way of life since I was a young teen going to Anne Marie's Figure Forum in Westport, CT with my sister. That was where it all started. From there, I moved on to doing Jane Fonda exercise albums at home with my Mom. At college, I ran for one year, and then worked out on and off at the fitness center on campus. After college, I had an apartment and joined a fitness and raquet club and so on and so on. I have done kickboxing, high impact aerobics, (thank you Sue Lestage), walking workouts, weight training, step aerobics, pretty much all of the fitness class crazes up until 4 years ago.

Four years ago, before I had gone back to working outside the home, I was at the Y most weekdays working out for usually an hour and a half. I would do 45 minutes of elliptical/exercise bike, then do some weight training, then I would see a friend and walk on the track and chat for another 1/2 hour or more. Before I knew it, I had been working out for much more than an hour. During this time, I developed a pain on the arch of my right foot. I figured I would need to exercise MORE to stretch this out. I increased my time on the elliptical, Stairmaster, and arc trainers. I was up to about 50 minutes 3-5 times a week when I " hit the wall."

This wall was huge and excruciatingly painful. It had a name. It was called Plantar Fasciitis. It is an inflammation of a tendon that runs from your heel, through the arch of your foot. When you wake in the morning after not using your feet all night, it feels like someone is stabbing the bottom of your foot with a sword. It is very sharply painful to get up and start walking around. All day long I had that pain. The pain was always much worse after not walking for an hour or more.

The Plantar Fasciitis brought my exercising mania to a crashing halt. Not only could I not use the elliptical, the stairmaster, the bike, the arc trainer or take classes, I could barely walk at all without horrific pain. I sought ever increasing levels of treatment. I went to a podiatrist, who sent me home with some stretching exercises and a recommendation to soak my foot in a bucket of ice water. If you have ever soaked your foot in a bucket of ice water, you know what a level of commitment to a cure that takes. It was awful and neither the ice nor the stretching helped. I then progressed to physical therapy, including Iontophoresis where a medicated patch is put on the affected area and an electrode drives the medication into the area in tiny increments using electrical pulses. This also did not work.

I went back to the podiatrist for an injection of cortisone directly into the area....you guessed it. I did not work, well, it did work for about one day and then it wore off and I was back to limping and making awful faces anytime I had to move my foot. The coup de gras was that I had to wear a walking cast for a month...mind you this was in mid July. It was hot, it was heavy (not to be confused with hot-n-heavy, trust me) and it kept my foot absolutely frozen in one position for a month. I was allowed to take it off only to drive and shower. After one month, in mid August, I took it off and thought, hmmmm...maybe this did the trick. I started walking around on it again and after a few days, that dreaded pain came right back. By that point, I had experienced this pain for almost a year. To be completely clear, I had ignored the pain for the first 6 months but it had been with me for almost one year. My only option at that point was to have surgery to sever the tendon. The sad fact though was that the doctor would not guarantee that surgery would make the pain go away and that tendon would be permanently severed. I opted not to have surgery.

At that point in time, I had gotten a job and began to work. I was wearing heels most of the time at work and I sat for many more hours of the day than I used to sit when I was not working. Something weird started to happen when I started my job, my foot began to feel better magically. I was not working out, I was not standing all day on my feet, and I was wearing heels instead of flat shoes. The heels seemed to ease the strain on the tendon...due to the angle my foot was in while I wore heels. I gradually began to gently work out at home...a little walking, a little short exercise video, etc.

That is the fitness situation I have been in ever since 2006. I have not been able to work out strenuously for fear of the return of the dreaded PF. But as a side effect of not working out as much, I have noticed my muscles are not as firm and flab is taking over formerly tighter areas (groan). So, it is with a little trepidation that I strode back to a gym last week. I saw my arch nemeses--the arc trainer and the elliptical. This gym did not have a stairmaster...probably a good thing. I got on the elliptical and did 15 minutes. I could have done more but opted not to push it. I also used the treadmill and exercise bike.

A funny thing happened today on the way out of the gym. I got that feeling. I had forgotten about that feeling altogether because it had been so long since I had experienced it. It is that rush of endorphins you get after you finish a workout. It is subtle to be sure, not like what a long distance runner gets...that is anything but subtle. This is subtle and yet I felt it. It felt great to have a 45 minute workout under my belt today. It felt good physically and mentally. And all in all, that feeling was what I have missed the most.

I am both committed to regain a fitness routine I left behind 4 years ago in hopes of firming and toning, yet at the same time, I will listen to my body and understand that when your body gives you cues that it is hurting, you need to heed those warnings instead of being stubborn and hoping you can will them away. There is a balance to be struck here and I am determined to find it.

By the way, is anyone with me? A lot of friends and acquaintances have told me they are members at Planet Fitness, but do not go very often; you know who you are. LOL Who wants to join me in this quest?