This is one I can truly rant about! My husband Bob and I married when I was in my mid 20’s. At this time in my life, I had already been a dieter for more than a dozen years. I was a chubby child and started my first diet, Weight Watchers, with my parents at age 12. I lost the weight I wanted to lose at that time, but kept all of that dieting philosophy close at hand. I pulled out those strategies anytime more than a few pounds revisited my frame. This set me up for a life of “dieting.” I also learned in my mid teens that exercise was an important part of the dieting mix so I have done some form of exercise for most of my life.
When I married Bob, he was very thin and had never dieted and never needed to. He was naturally thin and didn’t have any of the dieting mentality. He was physically active, but didn’t exercise per se. He golfed, he played tennis, he did activities he liked, but didn’t think of it as exercise. As for our meals, I made most of our dinners at that time; and they were healthy well balanced meals. Bob could just eat MUCH more than I could and at times I found myself unconsciously competing with him-eating as much as he did. That was not a good strategy for me. I gained weight doing that and he never did! I always have to remind myself that I am smaller than he is and I have a slower metabolism than he does. Bob can eat 3 or 4 snacks after dinner at night and he does not gain weight. This is certainly not true for me.
Enter our children. When our first child, Alex, was born, little finger foods entered our life. The Cheerios, the Goldfish, the Animal Crackers, Teddy Grahams, and various other small foods that toddlers like were now sitting in our pantry. Alex would always leave 3 or 4 of whatever he was eating and for some reason, I felt compelled to finish what was in his dish. It was not that I loved Teddy Grahams or Goldfish, but sometimes without even realizing I had done it, I ate them out of his dish. This was a bad habit. Pounds easily find their way onto me. When Tyler, our second child, came along, I was hard wired into this bad pattern. You see, both of my children have their father’s metabolism and so are very thin and can eat pretty much anything they want and not gain much weight. I, on the other hand, just have to look at something rich and I will gain weight.
Tyler was diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes at age 3 and his whole eating world changed drastically. This meant I could absolutely NOT eat any of his food. We have to count the carbohydrates for every food he eats and give him a dose of insulin based on what he eats. This leaves NO ROOM for anyone taking any of his food. That stopped me from doing that anymore.
Fast forward 12 years and Alex is 19 and in college. I am only cooking for him when he is home visiting. He struggles to gain weight. He can eat 3,000 calories a day for days on end and not gain weight. As a result, he needs fairly high calorie foods around to sustain him. So, even though I cook very healthy meals, he always has cookies, chips, and various other snacks around him.
Tyler is 15 and was diagnosed with Celiac Disease (gluten intolerance) last year. This is a disease that affects 10% of people that have Juvenile Diabetes. It meant that I could not cook with any wheat, flour, oats, barley, rye or malt. This also meant not using any soups, sauces, or seasonings that have any of that in them. This was a game changer for us. I have had to totally revamp my cooking, do more baking (for him) and it also restricts what restaurants we can go to. Between the Diabetes and the Celiac, food is a major focus in Tyler’s life. Still, he also has his Dad’s metabolism and can eat large quantities of food and not become overweight. That brings me back to me. I cannot eat large quantities of anything and not gain weight. If I eat much more than 1400 calories a day, I gain weight. I have dieted most of my life. I have lost weight, I have gained weight. I have done Weight Watchers, South Beach, and The Spark Diet. It is not that I am obese, I am not. I still exercise most days. But this is what I struggle with: I live in a house where nobody else gains weight easily.
We go out to eat and they all eat foods I would love to eat but don’t dare eat. I make dinner and they all have seconds, and even thirds and I really have to have an internal discussion to talk myself out of doing that. It is not that I want anyone in my house to struggle with this. It is a monkey on your back that never goes away. I don’t wish that on them. I just wish they would understand that when we sit down in the evening to watch TV and I am having an internal dialogue about refraining from snacking, and their snacking begins, it weakens my resolve. They bring out the chips, out come the crackers, out comes the popcorn, the ice cream, and whatever delectable goodie is beckoning from the pantry. After an hour of this, I usually break down and have a snack. Even then, I try to make it as healthy as possible. It is almost like having those food commercials in front of your face in 3D. Eventually you give up….it is the, “ if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em ,” mentality. They don’t try to convince me to eat something, but all of the food eventually wears me down.
So, I struggle with this every day. When my children have moved out of the house, the snack foods will be beating a hasty retreat out of our pantry for good, or at least until grandchildren are in the picture!! By then, I hope to have a handle on it!
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